My Mom’s present..

..and that’s what  my Santa brought for my Mom

And that’s how my 2010 began..

I wish you all a  late but a very Happy New Year. I’ve been away for a while: too many thoughts, hardly any thoughts, too many events, hardly any, the point is that I could not properly chose the moment to write my first blog entry for 2010. Here am I again and will be from now on as one of my wishes for the new year.

I entered safely:)), happily and with more courage in the New Year. I am hoping for more  inspiration, a lot of energy and determination. In my country they say that the way you spend the night between the years gives you an image of the way your year will look like. It’s just a silly saying, however I won’t mind if it would apply in my case. We had such a great time that we almost forgot about the 00 o’clock moment. What would that mean:)))?

Going further, the very first ‘exist’ for 2010 was a short wonderful skiing trip in Austria, Kaprun. After 10 year I convinced myself to give this sport another try. As a child I used to ski a lot, we had intensive trainings in the season and we were always participating in competitions. I have to confess that skiing wasn’t my thing, I looked at it more like a challenge , another way of getting over certain fears and learning something new. What I always loved there were mostly the landscapes surrounding every ski experience and I knew that the Alps would never disappoint.

Kaprun is an incredibly friendly place. It’s a small  alpine village in the district of Zell am See in the Salzburg. We had four beautiful sunny days, rainbows, glittering show in the air and a breathtaking scenery on the Alps.

After not practicing it for so long it turned to be exhausting, the type of pleasant exhaustion that brings you back once you wake up in the morning.  I’ve been remined that I am a mountain girl at origin:), the mountains know me and I am supposed to know them…what happened in between it does not concern them.:)

I came back charged with so much energy and enthusiasm. A perfect mood for a good restart. We’ve been spoiled with  the most delicious austrian food. The desserts brought further my curiosity and I bought a cooking book with all the ’secrets’. If I succeed I will definitely let you know ad see.

Further, I am fine, feeling so positive and happy now…

2009

 

There are 7 hours left until 2009 will turn into memory. Everything is prepared…just waiting for people now and writing my last 2009 entry. I lightened my candles, cooked delicious cookies, cleaned the house. It’s all done for the end and the beginning.

2009 faced me with various situations. Was a year of change, a year of inspiration at some point, disappointment, motivation, energy, tiredness, love, support, sea, wind, sun, family, quality, love, support, permanent hope, beauty, hats, smiles, cakes, heartbeats, responsibility, fear, courage, anguish, color, missing people,  integrating in a different society, of learning, of understanding, giving, receiving. I had it all and even more.

It was a year where lessons were offered all the time, a year of taken and missed opportunities, a year that added a lot to myself, to my perceptions but it has also sometimes taken away my courage, my energy. If I would live it one more time in the same manner? I would by adding. That’s why I am almost stepping in 2010. Because in the end of the day ‘nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it’d be worth it’

Another happy Christmas

I’ve been waiting for my short holiday to pass so that I can retrospectively write about it. I’ve spent some good ’quality time’. Lately I have learnt that the issue of quality and quantity also applied to the time I spend somewhere. A short four days holiday can definitely leave you breathless, with the feeling that you should have done more things, see more people, spend more time with some of them. However, it leaves you  an opened door,  a constant need to return, to live so intensively.

I went home for Christmas and my home is Romania. I left the country two years ago when I started my study and implicitly my life in the Netherlands. It wasn’t an easy decision to take but now I do feel that it leads me somewhere.

We started our journey in Dortmund, one day earlier. The idea was to see a bit from the German Christmas market. There were lots of people with the so-called gluhwein in their hands, trying out all sorts of delicious german bites. It definitely introduced me to the Christmas feeling.

The night found us in an unexpectedly nice hotel, the Unique hotel in Dortmund.

Next day at 5 o’clock we were on our way to Cluj-Napoca (Transylvanian city). I was happy to be again in the city where I studied 4 years. This time however I found it grey and sad somehow, it has lost a great deal of its charm. Grey muddy streets, people who would not eventually ‘fake a smile’,  grey flats and so much tiredness in the air. Not the Cluj I used to know in any case. Lately my brother opened a Caffe in the historic center of Cluj with a really nice profile (art and performance) but I will dedicate a special post to it. It was the perfect place to be.

After long talks and coffees we were heading my home town. My mountain  town wasn’t expecting me with a lot of snow. However, warm hugs and beautiful people could easily replace it. I missed my home, my room, my parents, the feeling I have when I walk on the streets. I could not imagine being somewhere else for Christmas. We start with  a family dinner with lots of traditional food, we share presents like everyone and then we go singing until 5 am:). We usually gather a small group of friends from primary school, 5, 6 people and we go singing Christmas carols from door to door to friends and teachers. By the end of the night we are 20. This years the singing was by far the nicest.

Even though I hardly slept anything, I lived it all, moment by moment. The 25th of december was dedicated to family and old friends. Stories were all arround. I gathered them all, brought them with me and gave mine away.

Dear Daydreamer,

 

Dear Daydreamer,

I created you this box because I know you need a storage place for your day dreams. I also know that you want to hide them. They aren’t helpful when you rush to the office, when your train is leaving or when you are in a ‘non-sense’ meeting session. They are just too obvious when you are watching the snow flakes game and try to give it a sense. The window might reflect them back and they will all know that… you are a day dreamer.

You often wonder what’s wrong with being a daydreamer. You are just as competent as all the others, professionally speaking you work just as much as they do. Aren’t they all daydreamers? Well, I could not give you the right answer. All I know is that nobody ever asked me such a present. It took me a while to figure out how I should materialise your wish. I’ve been watching you for a long time. Your wish was definitely a challenge for me. You managed to challenge the old and wise daydreamer. That makes you a sensible daydreamer.

This box is the image of your daydreams and not a place to hide them away. The balance and peace I find in you makes me think that you don’t need to get rid of them. Collect them and…inspire meJ. My supply chains aren’t always the best option. Lately I became dependent on them. My imagination really suffers these times.

May your Christmas tree protect this little box until you receive it!

 Yours,

Santa Claus

December Girl

It is often hard to realise the uniqueness of every day. Days won’t repeat and paradoxically I do sometimes live the feeling of routine. Some days are colder, brighter, busier, easier, happier, funnier than other, however they are unique. It sounds so pretentious, it somehow oblige me to feel the power of the present, to live every moment. It’s also a pressure that I sometimes experience and as a consequence I find myself ignoring the details, the components and focus on the whole. Days as part of a whole and not necessarily a chain of unique moments which can not be missed.

However lately, the December girl inside me is asking for much more attention. Is asking me to pay attention to the details that create the whole. They do matter, they aren’t waste of time just beautiful simple miracles that can make the whole prettier.

Since the snow flakes are creating  the most beautiful scenery I can see through my window I have decided to ‘dance’ with them and step as creative as possible.

Did not leave..

I did not leave of course. I am just quiet sometimes. I do enjoy the silence…and I cannot always express what happens or what I feel. December is here…my favorite month. I am overwhelmed by light, crowds and love.

See you very soon.

My roses and I

Laurya had a nice weekend..

Saturday reminded me of the times when I used to sing, of the rehearsals and the emotions at the final rehearsal. It seemed that time wasn’t there. We were working long hours, days and nights just to feel prepared on the stage. Wasn’t the performance but the rehearsals that made those times so special. It did not always matter whether it was good or not..it just marked the end of the moments we felt so alive.

Saturday was special. I went to Nijmegen for a classical concert. During the day I had a walk in the city. Autumn there is  the most beautiful combination of grey and brown. I know it isn’t the nicest association that would come in one’s mind but it surely has a certain type of cold beauty.

The evening was getting a bit warmer with Verdi, Mozart and Wagner. The one hundred men chorus performed fragments from the composers operas. It was completely relaxing, I did not feel the three hours passing. I would like to know more about this wonderful music. It’s famous, it is easily recognisable…it is however difficult to get to its substance. It managed to make me feel like singing again…?

In the break..

Some Regina Spektor

I love her music..